IMNA, gotta love 'em

IMAZ tomorrow.

Pulling it together a bit mentally. Ann had a bad crash on her bike thursday and we spent a few hours in the hospital. She is not able to walk on her leg and is very banged up, on crutches. So, she is out of the race. Unfortunate because she is definately stronger than she was in Australia and I am certain she would have shattered the W35 course record here too, and not finished at 11 again , but I was confident top 10 overall this time.

I realized sitting in the hospital with her that I really dont love this sport. If she had a fracture, and they were already talking surgery for her before the xray results (yeah, I repremanded them on this premature move), then I had convinced myself I was not competing and finished with the sport. To spend 100% of my time for her recovery in hopes to get her back in time for Kona. Well, that's where my love is. It's not the sport...it' not the IM or the elusive Kona slot. It's my training partner and wife, that's it.

When I picked up our bikes Friday morning from IMNA headquarters, one of the assistant race directors asked me if we were the ones who had the crash. I said yes and he directed me toward our bikes. As he lifted Anns banged up bike to me, said, "hey, drive out of here slow...dont kick up any dust". This was literally the next thing he said to me. No "is she ok", ect ect. I jerked the bike from him and said, "I'll get the bikes man". Love IMNA...."dont kick up any dust" is their encouraging word for us. Oh well, they have their 900 dollar race entries so what do they care.

Then one of the course support guys came out and asked if Ann was ok. This guy was a tremendous help during the crash. He told me they drove up a few minutes after the crash because they saw cars parked on the side of the road, and he said the dust was still settling.
He apologized and then said, "Well, we've all been there".

I politely replied, " really? I've never been there and hope I am never there".
He said, "well, I've been there and I understand"

I said, again politely, "really? Youve been in the position to break the top 10 overall, even stronger than your overall 11th finish in the prior race....then crash 2 days out and couldnt even walk?"

I didnt let him answer. I just followed up with, " I dont think you understand man, I dont and dont claim to"

So, I realized if I ever have a friend or other athelete who trains their ass off and is literally on the cusp of becoming pro, then everthing is wiped away in a split second....I'll never say to them,
"I understand".

Say...sorry, that sucks, you'll be back dont worry...ect. But, man its offensive to say "I understand" when its impossible to place ourselves in that situation.

I am fast for my AG, yeah, but I have never been even close to the top ten overall (29th best CDA 04) and cant even imagine what's its like to be so strong compared to the other athletes in my division and overall, train so hard, many weeks of 16 or more workouts...month after month..then immediately out.

Regardless, I realized I dont love this race, and I certainly have little respect for the marketing monster behind it. However, I am a competitive athlete, and this gives me the opportunity to compete with others and I do love that. So, it is what it is. After a day or 2 of pondering I decided I will race.

I have my focal point now.

I may blow up, and I really dont care too much about that. But, the guy or guys leading my age group better have a good 15 min lead on me getting off the bike, because I will be showing no mercy to myself on that run.